Should I Tell My Children I Have a Stoma Bag? A Guide for Parents

The Honest Answer – Yes, You Can Tell Them

It’s natural to wonder whether you should tell your children that you have a stoma bag. Many parents worry it might upset or confuse them — but in most cases, honesty (in simple terms) is the best approach.

Children are more resilient and understanding than we often think. With the right language, you can help them see your stoma as something normal and life-improving, not scary or secretive.

At Stoma Styles, we believe openness builds confidence — for both you and your family.

 

🧡 Why Talking About Your Stoma Helps

Explaining your stoma bag to your children helps:

• Reduce fear or curiosity. Kids notice changes and can sense when something’s being hidden.
• Build trust. Honest conversations strengthen your bond.
• Promote body positivity. It teaches them that medical differences are nothing to be ashamed of.
• Normalize health conditions. They learn early that everyone’s body is unique — and that’s okay.

By sharing in a calm, factual way, you help your children see your stoma as part of life — just like glasses, hearing aids, or medication.

 

👶 How To Explain a Stoma Bag to Young Children

For younger children (under 10), keep things simple and reassuring.

Try explaining it like this:

“Mummy/Daddy had an operation to help my tummy work better. Now I have a little bag that collects what my body doesn’t need.”

You can show them the bag if you feel comfortable, or let them see you empty or change it in a calm, matter-of-fact way. Kids often accept it easily once they understand it’s there to keep you healthy.

💡 Tip: Use your tone and body language to show it’s not a big deal. If you act confident, your children will mirror that feeling.

 

🧒 Talking To Older Children and Teens

Older kids or teenagers may have more questions — and that’s a good thing! It means they care and want to understand.

You could say:

“I had surgery to help me live without pain. This bag helps my body work properly, and it’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

Encourage them to ask questions and be open about what worries them. You don’t have to have every answer — honesty and warmth go a long way.

If they seem uncomfortable at first, remind them that it’s okay to take time to adjust. Teens especially appreciate trust and real talk

 

💬 Common Questions Kids Might Ask

“Does it hurt?”

You can explain that it doesn’t hurt, but sometimes it needs care, like a plaster on a knee.

“Can you still play or go swimming?”

“Yes! My bag is waterproof, and I can do most things I did before.”

“Will I ever need one?”

You can reassure them that everyone’s body is different, and this was something your body needed.

Answering openly (and sometimes with humour!) helps take away fear or stigma.

 

🌈 Helping Your Kids Feel Involved

Children love to help, and including them gently in your routine can make them feel more secure.

For example:

• Let them help pick your stoma bag cover design (“Which colour should I wear today?”).
• Explain that it’s just another part of your daily routine, like brushing your teeth.
• Make it positive — fun covers and confident language show that it’s nothing to hide.

👉 Explore our range of fun, comfortable stoma bag covers — perfect for showing your children that medical things can still be colourful, creative, and completely normal.

💚 When You’re Not Sure What To Say

If you’re nervous about how to start the conversation, try writing it down or practicing with a friend or your stoma nurse.

You could even use children’s books or visuals to explain what a stoma does in a gentle, relatable way.

At Stoma Styles, we’re working on resources like our children’s recovery journal and Snug the Stoma Sloth — designed to make these conversations easier and friendlier for families.

 

💞 Final Thoughts

You don’t need the perfect words — just honesty, love, and calmness. Your children will take their cue from you. If you’re confident and open, they’ll see your stoma as just another part of life.

Having a stoma doesn’t change who you are as a parent. If anything, it shows your strength, resilience, and courage — the same qualities your kids will one day admire in themselves.

At Stoma Styles, we’re here to help families talk openly, live confidently, and add a little fun to life with a stoma. 💖